Thursday, March 03, 2005

What Happened to Star Wars?

I'm a HUGE Star Wars fan. But the newer movies just don't make any sense. I saw Return of the Jedi for the first time last week, and I have to say, it's pretty confusing. The last time we saw Darth Vader, he was tumbling through space in his TIE fighter, and then he lands on the NEW Death Star in some kind of Y-Wing? And when did Han Solo get turned into stone? What I really can't believe is that none of the Rebels figured out that the black guy, Londo Corellian, was one of Jabba's spies. I mean, the first time you see him he's guarding Jabba. How dumb are these Rebels? You'd think that the words-flying-through-space thingy (who built those things, anyway?) at the beginning of Return of the Jedi would explain some of this stuff, but it's no help.

As if that wasn't bad enough, then I tried to watch Attack of the Clones with my kids, and it was even worse! We found out in Return of the Jedi that Darth Vader's name was really Anakin, and he died at the end. But in this movie he's somehow come back to life as a teenager! And Obi-Wan Kenobi has also been replaced by a younger actor and is supposed to be 'alive'. The biggest letdown was the bounty hunter that we saw fall into the Rancor pit in Return of the Jedi, I believe his name is Ponda Boba. How did he make it back to the land of the living? Is that why it's called Attack of the Clones? It seems like Spielberg is just bringing characters back to life as young people to make the movies attractive to kids. I guess it worked for him in Titanic. At least with Anakin and Obi-Wan I could see some justification for it, since they were such popular characters in the earlier movies, but why oh why did Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru come back to life? Was it just to sell some more action figures? At least the new stormtroopers look cooler than the old ones, but they seem to be helping the Jedi now. It's all very confusing, but my kids don't seem to mind all the gaping plot holes.

Maybe Spielberg will clear all this up if he ever gets around to making those 'prequel' movies everybody's always talking about. Until then, I'm sticking with Star Wars Episode I, the one where Luke blows up the Death Star. The other movies suck (except for ET, since it took place on Earth and was much more realalistic).


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man you're an idiot.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

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2:13 AM  
Blogger Melvin Tan said...

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2:46 AM  

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